As I was cleaning my kitchen (for the 2nd time today, and it's only 9:27a.m.), my thoughts went to God. I couldn't help but praise Him for giving Brent and I this wisdom. I had asked God specifically to give us the wisdom to make a decision that was right for her, not necessarily the one she wanted. Because of this, things were brought to our attention that we would not have known otherwise. I'm not going to lie, it was heart breaking. As I talked with her and she was filled with hurt, the mama bear in me wanted to make it stop. I was able to love her, assure her that God had something better suited for her down the road and encourage her.
God says no to me so often. I can't count the number of times I have asked for something and God has said no. Like a two year old, there have been times when I have I have thrown a fit, stomped my feet and shook my fists. Other times, like my sweet girl, I have sobbed seeking to understand why God had said no. My favorite, by far, are the times when I see clearly why God said no. Those are the easy ones.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says this: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." It's so easy to trust God when He says "yes" or when we understand His "no". It doesn't take much faith to trust Him them. My own kids love me when I give them what they want! But anyone who has been a parent long enough, knows that this can change very quickly. From toddlers to teenagers we have experienced the wrath of a frustrated child. I have been told more than once that I was unfair, didn't love them or care about them. This is the furthest thing from the truth. I have never loved anyone more than I love my children. And God's love for us is even deeper than this, which to me is unimaginable! God gave His own son, so that all of us could be heirs to the Kingdom. He loves us in a way that I just cannot wrap my brain around.
When God says no, it's hard. When a loved one is sick or dies, or when life circumstances are too much to take, we are called to trust in Him. Our human brains are like that of a child compared to the knowledge and understanding of God. True faith comes about when we trust Him when He says no and we do not understand. It is then that we must not depend on our understanding, but His. We need to seek His will and ask Him to show us the path. Today as I heard God say no, I praised Him. I praised Him because I trust His path is better than the one I had planned for myself. He is good. He is faithful. His ways are above my understanding. This is not the end. The journey will continue. Perhaps I will see the why to all the times He said no. Maybe I won't. Either way, I choose to trust in Him, who loves His children even more than I love my own.