That's how it is with us at times, isn't it? We know what we shouldn't do. Perhaps we have an addiction of some sort and tell ourselves we can handle it. Maybe we know we are weak in a particular area, yet we push the boundary convincing ourselves we can stop it at any time. The problem with this thinking is that the closer we get to the actual sin, the more likely we are to cross that line without realizing it. The lines become blurred and sometimes completely disappear. Then, like Sami, we are left shocked. We thought we had things under control and we are left surprised at yet another failure on our part.
Like my Sami, I have been there before. I've had that "oh *#@" look on my face. I've sheepishly gone before my Father and said I was sorry and asked for forgiveness. I've rebuked myself and struggled with the "why do I keep messing up in this area". And the only thing I have come up with is that there are just some things in our lives we need to be sure we keep at a distance. We know what they are. Yet we tilt the cup, as far as we can without actually spilling anything. My goal is to put the cup down and walk away. It's the only way to ensure that I end up where I want to, free from the sin and living the way I want to live. But it is only through being filled with God, through His Word, prayer and the wisdom of others that I am able to this. It's hard to know what to walk away from if we aren't aware of it in the first place. Think about your life. What are your areas of weakness? When you know, pray, ask God for awareness and strength. And when you are faced with that cup in your hand and you see it tilting ever so slightly, put it down and walk away, run if you need to. And you'll be left with a peace and comfort that comes from listening to God.